So this year marks the year that I will be turning 40. Turning 40 is supposed to be a HUGE milestone and something to celebrate right?  I had hoped that at this point in my life, I would have accomplished some things such as marraige, children, living in my own home, etc. However for whatever reasons, those have not been where my journey has lead me. So I look to the things that are within my control that I can change or reach for that I feel will help make this year one of my best yet! One of those things I can control is my weight. Yeah Yeah, I know...one of the most common new years resolutions that almost everyone makes, however I do want to change this and it IS something that I can control. So come join me and hold me accountable for my actions. Now that you are here, let me share my hopes of what I can accomplish.

Two Main reasons I want to loose weight:
1. Most important-to be healthy. I KNOW i am overweight. Nobody has to point that out to me. I have sleep apnea which has been proven to improve with weight loss. I also have borderline blood pressure and problems with fertility (which can also improve with weight loss in some cases).


2. To be confident in pursuing a relationship. I want to feel love and adored by a man, and I want to be able to believe those words when and once they are spoken to me. I want to feel comfortable with a guy touching me or holding me. Right now I'm not in that place and would dismiss any compliment. In the past I have always been told I have a great personality and that I'm fun to be with, however every guy that I have fallen in love with has chosen someone else. I have always thought my weight was one of the reasons why.  I know this goes deeper than weight loss, but the weight loss would help in some way for me to change my thinking.

Two things that will help this happen:
1. No more fast food. Its too easy to go and grab something because it's fast and I don't have to cook, but I think I've also become addicted to it in a way-because I will CRAVE it. Not only is the fat and calories and high sodium a major problem, but also the SUGAR from the soda and carbonation are affecting my health.  I know that it's going to be hard to wean myself off of it, but I need to feed my body better things and treat it with respect for the amazing vessel that it is.

2. Excercise- I don't do it-I DREAD it. I don't like to sweat. I know in the past though that I feel so much better when I do it. I can't afford to go to a gym nor would I feel comfortable going. I would be so self conscious. I used to have a membership but yet never went. What a waste. I am exercising at home-and I have to be consistent with that and start seeing some results and then I will go from there. My goal is to work out at least 4-5 times per week.

So for now, those are my small goals that I will work towards:
Here is where I'm starting off: